In the second chapter of my book Get Back Up I talk about my first few months in our new town of Tampa, Florida. How we got there is a story of persistence; my father’s tenacity, not mine. I frankly learned very few things from my father other than how to block and duck a punch, and though those were very important lessons, a much better one was not accepting rejection or taking No for an answer.

As I mention in my book, my father was disabled. To this day I don’t know exactly what happened to him, but he walked with a cane and was always in pain. At one point in the early sixties he decided to apply for Social Security Disability (SSD) benefits. He was turned down initially but he didn’t take No for an answer. He filed an appeal to the denial and, after many months of back-and-forth, was turned down again. He didn’t let this stop him though and continued to push back until the Social Security Administration told him he had exhausted their appeal process.

A couple of years had gone by at this point and my father decided to hire a lawyer to pursue his claim. The lawyer received another No in response to his first filing and he explained to my father that getting disability was a long shot and could take years. My father never liked hearing No. He certainly didn’t want to hear it from his children and if we dared utter the word, we paid the price. The Social Security Administration wasn’t so easily intimidated, however.

Each time my father and his lawyer were told No they made sure they found out the reason for the No, and then they set off to rectify whatever that reason was. In other words, they worked to overcome the objection, and after eight years of haggling, they finally got the Yes they were looking for.

Back then the rules for filing a SSD claim were different than they are today. Once your claim was approved, you received benefits retroactively from the date you first filed. For my father this was eight years of payments. I don’t know exactly what he got but after paying the lawyer it was enough money to move us out of the projects to Florida and for my father to buy a restaurant.

In chapter two I talk about our move to Florida and how we adjust to our new surroundings and our new school. I also talk about the first time I beat my father at pool and the way he “rewarded” me for my victory. But the most important lesson I learned at this early stage of my life was about overcoming objections and how one has to get through the Nos to get to the Yes. It can be frustrating at times but if what you want is something worth having, it’s something worth working for.

For more on my philosophy of No, check out my article No Means No (Sometimes) on the Huffington Post:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/no-means-no-sometimes_us_58cc4c65e4b07112b6472d78

Lessons:

  1. A No is just a request for more information.
  2. Once you know the reason for the No, work to overcome that objection.
  3. Don’t give up. If you really want something you have to be willing to keep at it. As I point out later in my book, Microsoft told me No four times before finally saying Yes.

George A. Santino helps people who want to break down barriers, including self-imposed barriers, to success. Check out his Amazon bestselling book, Get Back Up: From the Streets to Microsoft Suites.